How should the Devils find Martin Brodeur's successor?

Monday, December 26, 2011

NHL Christmas Gifts Recap

Maybe Ilya Bryzgalov should have gotten one of these for Chris Pronger to use.  You know...with a visor...

Many people spend the day after Christmas counting up their gifts.  NHL players do that as well, and some players received some interesting gifts this year.  Here's a look at what some of hockey's best players received for Christmas this year.

Henrik Lundqvist -
Gift: Two tickets to a Knicks game.
Problem: His buddy, Justin Bieber, has been hanging out in Toronto lately...

Ilya Bryzgalov -
Gift: A trip to the moon...obviously via the Russian space program, since NASA doesn't use shuttles anymore.
Problem: He's gotten lost in the woods.  Imagine how lost he would get in outer space...

Phil Kessel -
Gift: A new phone with an HD camera, just in time for the upcoming All-Star Weekend.
Problem: The captain of the team Kessel isn't on will definitely pick Alex Ovechkin way too early.

Drew Doughty -
Gift: A new contract that doesn't include the "everyone on the team must stop scoring" clause.
Problem: Dean Lombardi has no idea how to successfully sign a star player.

Dany Heatley -
Gift: A ski trip through the Manitoba mountains.
Problem: He's never owned a winter jacket.

John MacLean -
Gift: A new NHL job on a team that isn't the worst in the league.
Problem: Nobody is really sure when the "isn't the worst in the league" thing kicks in...

Gary Bettman -
Gift: A handbook titled "How to Avoid a Lockout When Negotiating a New Labor Agreement."
Problem: It was sent by David Stern.

Tampa Bay Lightning Defensemen -
Gift: A quality goaltender.
Problem: The Flyers remain atop the waiting list for one.

Randy Cunneyworth -
Gift: A "How to Speak French: For Dummies" book.
Problem: It was written by Claude Julien, so Cunneyworth isn't sure how much is accurate, and the Habs don't have any players to help him.

Jarome Iginla -
Gift: Not getting traded out of Calgary, since Iginla insists on winning with the Flames.
Problem: The media cut out the line when he said "but since I won't be playing in 40 years, get me out of here!"

Zach Parise, Shea Weber and Ryan Suter -
Gift: Each were given blank pieces of paper with a line on it for their signatures from their general manager.
Problem: According to @RealKyper_, at least one of those players has no interest in staying with his team.

Detroit Red Wings fans -
Gift: A check for free tickets to all Detroit road games, since the Wings can only seem to win at a home environment this season.
Problem: The checks were sent by Todd Bertuzzi, and not all checks sent by Todd Bertuzzi are legal...


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